OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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