Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
