Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
