I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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