Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
