Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
