I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
