Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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