Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
where does the pee come out of this thing
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
