Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
