would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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