The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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