if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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