So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
