So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
