shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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