i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
