Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
