Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
