ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
