Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
