are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
