so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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