if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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