hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
