meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
