I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
