I molested 6 butterflies tonight
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
