Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
