'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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