Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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