It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
