so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
