This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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