Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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