All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
