He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
