I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
