Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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