He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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