No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
