This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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