i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
