i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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