is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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