In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
