Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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