I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
