: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
