if you like me you must not know who I am
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
