If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
