so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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